How to help a family member with addiction?
Trying to help a family member who is struggling with substance abuse is one of the most difficult things any family will ever experience. The emotional toll is enormous, the confusion about what to do next can be paralyzing. But here’s the good news:
There is a right way to approach this, and families can be the most powerful tool in their loved one’s recovery.
In this article, we’ll cover:
- The Impact of Family
- Creating a Safe Environment at Home
- Setting Boundaries without Guilt
- Treatment Options and Choices
- Self-Care for Family Members
Addiction Affects the Entire Family
Before we get into how to help, there is something you should know…
When someone in the family is using substances, they’re not the only ones who are impacted. It’s a disease that spills over and affects every family member.
The latest statistics show that 1 out of every 8 children in the United States live in a home with at least one parent who has a substance use disorder.
That’s 8.7 million kids under the age of 17 whose families are dealing with this issue.
The point is:
Learning how addiction works is the first step in understanding how to help a family member with addiction. It’s not about blame or shame — it’s about educating yourself that addiction is a chronic brain disease that requires professional treatment.
Families that get educated on this see things change. The guilt and shame start to subside. The anger and frustration become easier to manage. And most of all, you can focus on solutions instead of dwelling on problems.
Building a Safe Home Environment
Home is the foundation of a support system.
Think of it as building a safe, stable structure for your loved one to stand on. That doesn’t mean you have to walk on eggshells or pretend everything is OK when it’s not. It means having clear expectations while providing love and support unconditionally.
But while a healthy home environment is critical, professional addiction treatment is often needed to give your loved one access to the medical care, structured routine, and support groups needed for recovery. Rehab facilities specializing in drug rehab Morristown NJ and the surrounding area provide families with access to evidence-based treatment programs. But recovery doesn’t start and end at the rehab facility. What happens at home before, during, and after treatment is just as important for long-term success.
Home should provide:
- Clear rules about substance use and zero tolerance policies
- Open communication without judgment
- Family time and regular activities
- Daily routine and healthy habits
- Removal of triggers and temptations
This doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Involve your loved one in this discussion. Ask them what they need from you. Encourage open dialogue and listen to their fears and concerns. Recovery is a team effort, and when everyone is on the same page, it’s easier for your loved one to succeed.
Setting Boundaries Without Guilt
Here is where most families trip up…
It’s a fine line between support and enabling. You want to help, but sometimes “helping” actually makes things worse.
Boundaries are not punishments. They are protection. Protection for you, for your family, and ironically, for your loved one from the disease of enabling behavior.
Some healthy boundaries include:
- No money (that can go toward substances)
- No lies or excuses made on their behalf
- No substance use in the home
- Enforcement of consequences set in place
- Saying no to requests that cross your line
The guilt you feel setting these boundaries is normal. Every family member will feel it. But here’s the thing: Boundaries are acts of love. Boundaries show your loved one that you care about them and you’re willing to hold them accountable even as you continue to love and support their recovery.
Did you know that more than half of American adults have a close family member with an addiction problem? You are not alone in this journey, and you are not a bad person for protecting yourself and your family while also helping them.
Treatment Options and Choices
Treatment isn’t a one-size-fits-all model.
One person’s treatment program may be completely different from another’s. This is why it is important to know about all the different types of treatment programs available, so you can choose what’s right for your family member’s individual needs.
Typical treatment options include:
- Medical detox programs
- Inpatient or residential treatment
- Outpatient programs
- Individual and group counseling
- Medication assisted treatment
- Support groups and peer recovery
When you start researching treatment programs, ask the right questions. Do they have an evidence-based treatment model? Will they treat dual diagnosis mental health disorders? What does aftercare look like? How do they involve families in the treatment and recovery process?
Don’t rush this decision. Tour facilities and meet with staff. Ask a lot of questions. Read reviews. Take your time finding the right treatment program that fits your family member’s needs. The right program can mean the difference between long-term success and relapse.
And remember, most insurance companies now cover at least part of addiction treatment. Don’t let finances deter you from getting help.
Self-Care for Family Members
Wait, why are you talking about me?
You heard me. Self-care is one of the most important things you can do as a family member, but it’s usually the first thing to go. Supporting someone through addiction recovery is one of the most draining things you can do. It’s exhausting — emotionally, physically, and mentally. If you don’t care for yourself, you can’t be of much help to anyone else.
Self-care for family members should include:
- Support groups like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon
- Therapy with a professional counselor
- Keeping your own hobbies and interests
- Regular exercise and rest
- Having a support network of other friends
A recent study showed that 78% of families experienced significant improvement in their well-being after attending support groups. That’s because these groups give you a network of people who understand exactly what you’re going through.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it’s probably one of the smartest things you can do for yourself. Family therapy can help you develop healthy communication skills, work through your own difficult emotions, and give you tools for managing all of this.
Remember, self-care is not selfish. It’s critical. You need to be healthy and strong to provide long-term support for your loved one in recovery.
Wrapping Things Up
Supporting a family member through addiction treatment and recovery is one of the most difficult things anyone will ever go through.
But families can be the most powerful weapon in their loved one’s arsenal in this fight against addiction. Just remember a few things:
- Addiction is a disease that impacts the entire family
- Create a supportive home environment with love and clear boundaries
- Find quality treatment that matches your loved one’s specific needs
- Take care of your own mental and physical health
- Stay involved, but also give them the space to do the work
Addiction recovery is possible. It’s something thousands of families do every year. With the right support system and treatment, your loved one can build a new, healthy, substance-free life.
And you don’t have to go it alone. Reach out to the pros. Join a support group. Surround yourself with people who have been through this before. Recovery can be a very long road, but it is one that families can overcome together.