Have you ever met people who stay in painful, toxic, or uncomfortable situations just because they want to avoid change? We are wired to feel bad when our routines transform, even when they bring positive news. Our brains are resistant to change. That’s why, as Liven has discovered among its users, our mental health can take a hit. Transitions from point A to point B influence our stress levels differently. Understanding them makes us better prepared to handle them and face unpredictable twists and turns with confidence.
The Different Faces of Change
All existence is filled with change. As humans, we go through many transitions. Here are the categories that, according to the Liven app, remain the most stressful for its users:
- Personal: moving, career change, retirement
- Relationship-related: marriage, divorce, parenthood
- Economic and social: economic instability, pandemics, wars.
They affect us differently. For example, one can face a positive change, such as moving to a better city or getting a higher-paying job, and still feel miserable. In other situations, the worst outcome strangely brings a new, positive revelation. That’s the thing about life and its plot twists: you never know what’s at the finish line.
Our responses to change aren’t all equal as well. We respond with:
- Anxiety and uncertainty. We don’t know how to act or what will happen next, and it drives us mad. We check all possibilities and seek reassurance. A shift has led us to perceive the world as inherently unreliable.
- Grief. The past might seem overly perfect to us. We mourn what was before, which can feel like losing a loved one.
- Excitement mixed with fear. Things ahead can be great — a sophomore student can be giddy with anticipation and still be nervous to start an adult life.
- Identity confusion. We keep asking ourselves, “Who am I now?” if the foundations of our existence are shaken. This may happen after retirement, a breakup, or even entering a new social circle.
Coping Mechanisms — Healthy and Not
When faced with change, our minds and bodies instinctively reach for ways to adapt. Some of these coping mechanisms bring relief in the short term but create problems later, while others help us build lasting resilience.
Unhealthy Coping
These strategies can occur when we are struggling with change but don’t know yet how to manage our feelings.
- Avoidance. We might pretend that nothing has changed or that we just don’t want to discuss it. But we are not “taking it well,” we are delaying the process of adjustment and staying in the period of stillness.
- Escapism. Whether it’s alcohol, video games, or partying, these approaches focus on one thing: to ignore and numb our worry.
- Isolation. In this case, a person ignores everyone and tries to stay on their own for as long as they can. We withdraw, not wanting to share or be a burden.
- Rigid control. Another aspect of coping is not letting go, but rather overcompensating in areas that are still within our control.
Usually, even if we go through these coping mechanisms, we can transition to healthy ones after we adjust to change.
Healthy Coping
Healthy coping is like saying, “Yep, it was messed up and I’m all nervous, but I can handle it.” It is acknowledging what is happening and still moving, but with more clarity.
- Self-compassion. We feel much better when we allow ourselves to experience our feelings. We don’t judge ourselves for what has happened; instead, we want to show compassion and remind ourselves that we deserve kindness. It’s a promise to continue pushing ahead when we can.
- Mindfulness. Being in the moment when the change wasn’t pleasant looks like a heroic and nearly unbearable act, but it has a lot of benefits. Pausing to breathe, meditate, or simply notice what’s happening to us now can reduce spiraling thoughts.
- Reframing. Instead of catastrophizing, we view each transition as an opportunity or a lesson. Without making it overly joyous, reframing teaches us to see more than just a loss.
- Reaching out. We are not alone, and remembering that encourages us to build a supportive network. People who find help and don’t try to go through all of it alone tend to be more effective in managing the overwhelm of change.
Everyone falls into unhealthy coping sometimes. The key is to allow yourself a chance to heal rather than let the wound fester by ignoring it.
Why Resilience Matters in Times of Change
Resilience is our ability to adapt to emerging challenges and transformations. It is rooted in a person’s flexibility and awareness. Building resilience enables us to prepare for the future. The truth is, life will always be full of changes. Rather than feeling shocked by each shift, we can learn to face them with grace.
We have to stay psychologically flexible and self-compassionate first. Psychological flexibility means holding space for both what we hoped for and what’s happening. For instance, a person who wishes for a good exam result should still be fine with less-than-perfect outcomes. Plus, this flexibility needs to connect with the self-compassion that we have mentioned above. While moving forward or facing a crisis, we shouldn’t punish ourselves for not “handling things better.”
Finally, we ought to be open to growth and connection. Change often reveals skills we didn’t know we had, such as the ability to withstand challenging situations mentally. And when everything feels so rapidly changing, we need to have others close to us — they will save us from isolation.
Conclusion
Change often threatens a person’s mental health, and not everyone handles it well. However, we can build up our skills in emotional management and adaptability, becoming more prepared for the future surprises of life. By respecting our emotions and seeking support, we can become resilient in the face of the sharpest of turns.